Well, I just experienced another breakup tonight. "Supernatural" is no longer my hot, shiny boyfriend. Sure, all was lovely for a while. But he quickly went from being my dream man into some greasy, fat bastard sitting in a trailer eating one of those Hungry Man frozen dinners. I dunno, I couldn't stay hooked on it like I did the X-Files. Ah, well. We tried. I'LL MISS YOU, WINCHESTERS. ♥

AND OF COURSE IT LOOKS LIKE FUCKING CBS IS GOING TO CANCEL NUMBERS AND I'M A BIG FAT FAILURE TURTLE WHO GOT INTO A SHOW DURING WHAT COULD BE ITS LAST SEASON. AIEE!!!

(I know the above sentence isn't grammatically correct, but fuck it.)

( Fic-related bitching )

Wow, that cut was not well-thought-out and all over the place, but I don't care. I just spent my entire night reading some most awesome Numb3rs fic instead of watching RAW and I am duly ashamed. OFF TO BED WITH MEEEEEEEE!

Dear F-list,

While enjoying my three days of vacation I got into the habit of re-watching the same line-up of shows I used to watch when I was home sick from school ("In The Heat of the Night" FTW! Bubba Skinner is my babydaddy!) But apparently Mom is hip to what's new and got me watching reruns of a show called "Numb3rs". After watching an episode I realized I actually recognized one of the actors!

You guys, I had no idea that the guy who plays Charlie in "Numb3rs" is the same guy who played dorky-ass Michael in "Ten Things I Hate About You." That's one of the few teen movies I like! HOW IN THE HELL DID HE GO FROM HILARIOUS NERD INTO HOT MATHEMATICAL GENIUS?! Also, the shows is insane and, since I'm not the brightest crayon in the box, a little hard to follow at times, but math is freaking fascinating when it's presented this way (i.e., crime-solving). It's kind of hilarious because Mom totally has the hots for his older brother, Don, so now I have no reason to watch it alone. ♥

Y'all know I'm a total dork and have no idea of what's going on in the world. Therefore, I declare that you all suck at keeping me abreast of popular culture. Epic fail, my friends, epic fail. D:<

Love,
Ashley

Anyway, I turned in "An American Haunting" at Movie Gallery tonight (that movie sucked, guys - don't waste your time on it) and looked for "Numb3rs". Unfortunately for yours truly, they didn't carry that series, so I just signed up with Netflix. The first DVD from Season 1 should be arriving any day now. *rubs hands together evilly*

I've been absent from LJ for a few days (aside from Twitter updates). I'll explain why later. Can't do it now because it still makes me cry just to think about it.

Well, it's Halloween. Not dressing up tonight, but Ashley W., Amanda, Joey, Brett and I are going out to eat and then watching "Paranormal Activity" for my birthday. So that should be fun. Also bought myself a new winter coat - I've not had a proper once since I graduated from high school, which is what...five years? So yeah, it's a disgusting bright pink color and I love it.

Anyway, yeah. I'll try to be back to normal at some point.

I live for corny jokes, so I always laugh. What a stupid question.

I'm going in to work late today because I have to take Voldemort to the vet's office for shots. He has to stay inside all morning, which he absolutely hates! Right now he's doing his best to make me feel like the WORST. MOM. EVER.

I daresay it's working. :(

Holy crap, you guys - this PMS-fueled eating rampage I'm on has to stop! I've done quite well (at least I think so, anyway) on trying to slow down the inevitable diabetes with a healthy diet and exercise, but it's like the hormones hit and I eat all sorts of weird shit. D:

( RAW was pretty epic last night... )

Also, I'm digging Jeff Hardy's new haircut, lack of stupid facial hair, new tattoo and wedding band. Maybe he's trying to make himself less "pretty" to all of the big burly men in prison? ;-) (I'm never going to let this one go, folks.) Seriously, though, I'm all for the clean-cut look right now. I've spent years and years lusting over tatted-up, greasy people and frankly, my sex drive needs a break. So. Jeff, you're cute. <3

WTF, estrogen? When did I turn into everyone's mother? :P

With that I go to bed! GOOD NIGHT!

Dear John Cena:

Would you please go away? You always ruin my viewing of Monday Night Raw. I really can’t stand you at all. No, really. I can’t stand those big blue eyes. Ugh, and that charming smile with the dimples? Ew, that’s got to go. Also, what’s the normal-toned skin? Why can’t you be like everyone else and have a tangerine-colored spray tan? And no baby oil whatsoever to make you resemble a gay p0rn star? Bleh! Classically handsome men are so out of style.

I really don’t get what’s so great about you, John. So what if you originally wanted to be in the military before you discovered pro wrestling? So what if you’ve gone overseas to do every “Tribute to the Troops” since that program started? I mean, you’re doing your job without pay to a bunch of men and women who are away from home? And you actually LIKE it and you support the troops? Sell-out. I can’t stand people like you. It's not like I have a soft spot for our military.

And then you’re an Ambassador for the Make-a-Wish Foundation? Kids really want to see you? AND YOU’RE NICE TO THEM AND GENUINELY LIKE MAKING THEM HAPPY? Freaking loser.

In fact, there’s NOTHING about you that I find even REMOTELY lovable. Your on-key rendition of “Rocky Top” totally didn’t make me love you. Your positive attitude and being an all-around nice guy is such a turn off. Who wants to hang out with a down-to-earth celebrity?!

That’s it, John. You’re not gaining another fan via yours truly. Do you REALLY think I’d have your entrance theme as my ring tone or that I’d have a poster of you above my bed next to a poster of Randy Orton?



*snort* Heck, I wouldn’t even spend tonight ordering a coffee mug emblazoned with a picture of you.

No love,

Ashley

(Would you look at that -- someone broke into my house and defaced my bedroom wall! *fistshake* THEY WILL PAY.)

Hee, I'm so hormonal and in love... ♥ So here are some huge-ass pictures for my own personal enjoyment.

( I gots love for clean-cut men too. yo )

Okay, I'm done for now. Back to your regularly scheduled f-listing!

Y'know, I'm quite picky about vampire stuff, but that new movie called "The Vampire's Apprentice" (or perhaps it's "assistant?" I dunno.) actually looks kind of interesting. It doesn't look remotely like "Twilight", at any rate, so I suppose that's always good.

( On the dating front... )

It may just be wishful thinking on my part, but I swear that the Undertaker's new tights have bats on the thighs. Usually the designs on them are a demon face, a rosary, or his usual symbol, but at Hell In A Cell (which my friends and I have renamed Hell In A LOL) he was sporting some rather snazzy new ring gear. I'll have to get a closer look, because I'll be absolutely heartbroken if they're flying demons or something.

Also, the bats give me a mental image of 'Taker seeing his new stuf for the first time, clapping his hands and going, "FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAABULOUS!" I'm not totally ready to let that go because it makes me laugh. Holy shit, if he ever found my journal he'd pound my ass, and not in the good way.

...either that or he'd cry. It'd be worth it just to see him smudge his eye makeup.

Okay, I'm starting to freak even myself out. Time to go!

Dear World,

Affliction clothing sucks. The minute I see someone walking about in an Affliction T-shirt I automatically want to punch them in the face. That shit is ridiculously overpriced - $60 at the mall for a damn T-shirt? OH HELL NO. Also? Quit giving 'Taker free merchandise just because he's got a crush on all of those MMA fighters. You're one of the reasons why he's such a queen nowadays.

'Taker, stop wearing that trendy shit, stop carrying man-bags, gain back all of the weight you've lost and lay off the eye makeup. Go back to your leather daddy days and we'll act like this never happened, mmmkay?

On second thought, don't. Just stay the way you are, for this makes you THAT MUCH MORE FUN TO MOCK. Eeeheehee, you're awesome.

Love,
Ashley

In other news, I heard "Walking in Memphis" (yeah, the video isn't great, but the audio isn't bad, so) on the way home today and I managed to get a really awesome idea for a fic! *sparkly eyes* However, most of those fizzle out, so perhaps that's nothing to really get excited about. Ah well. I got to hear a favorite song and squee about it, at any rate. AND I DUG MARC COHN'S CD OUT OF MOM'S COLLECTION AND NOW I'M LISTENING TO EPIC MUSIC. SO THERE.

*stomps off to bed*

So I planned to go to Wal-Mart tonight with a big list of things to pick up, but after reviewing my checking account I cut the list down to three items (cat litter, facewash, prescription). I hope one of the gazillion places I applied for part-time positions at hires me. I got spoiled by the extra paycheck from Cato's last year and now money is constantly getting stretched too tight for my liking. (Yes, I've cut out nearly every expense that isn't a necessity.)

At least work wasn't too crappy today. Us lowly bastards in Doc Prep usually have our busy week right before the end of the month so I wasn't there when they were totally overwhelmed. ;-) Does my glee at that make me an asshole? Why, of course! NYAR HAR HAR HAR HAR!!!

ALSO, TONIGHT IS "HOUSE." I stopped watching a season or two back because everyone got all emo and had all of these weird-ass daddy issues or whatever. Ugh, I hate excess angst because it makes shit unwatchable. Mom said that the season premiere last week was pretty good. Now that Cutthroat Bitch and Kutner are dead and out of the picture (HOORAY!) I might be able to get into it again. Don't get me wrong, I like watching "Bones" and "The Closer", but I really miss all of my old shows. :( Boo.

So yeah. I guess you could say my day was pretty boring, but it's a nice change of pace from what things have been like recently. I'm sure I'll be wanting a faster pace later on but right now I'm gonna enjoy the calmness and cook some Ramen noodles for supper. Huzzah!

BREAKING NEWS!!!

Our coffeepot has died. ;_;

This is a travesty, folks. It really is. I've got an illicit love for the stuff and now it's been taken away from me! *cries* How am I going to function?

(Okay, Mom just told me she'd give me some money to buy a new one tomorrow, but still. How am I going to function tomorrow morning without my coffee? And don't you dare say, "Drink instant coffee!" 'Cause seriously? Ew.)

I AM NOT OVERREACTING HERE.

In slightly less flaily news, I picked up a writing tablet and a pen yesterday and actually wrote like half of a fic in longhand. It's weird; throughout the years I've been using a word processor to write and continually got writer's block, but now it's like the dam has been broken and all of these ideas are spewing forth from my brain to the page. It's quite nice, really, since I haven't turned out anything decent since that Apocalyptica fic a few years back.

Unfortunately, my penmanship is not what it used to be so I'm having a hard time re-reading what I've written. Fail.

Mom sent me off to run errands today, the first of which was stopping at the local farmers market to dither over some fruits and vegetables. We have a decent-sized Greek community in these here parts, so most of the women do their shopping on Saturdays and I always feel sort of weird around them because they're so pretty and modestly dressed and I'm usually schlumping about in jeans and a band T-shirt. So today I wore a long skirt and a plain top and didn't feel too out-of-place.

Next stop, I had to go to Wal-Mart and get some cleaning crap, but I also stopped in to get some pictures uploaded and picked up two cheap CD's - Travis Tritt and Josh Turner. I LOVE Travis Tritt; he's one of my favorite country singers. (I'm also getting on a BIG country kick for songs I've not heard in like 10 years, so yeah.) Josh Turner has got the most incredible baritone for his age, and he's a little more bluegrass-y, which I like. There are VERY FEW new country artists I like now, so when it comes to discussing that I'm sort of like those old women in the nursing homes complaining about the "good old days." Heh.

I actually wrote short fic last night and I'm kind of happy with it, in spite of the subject matter being sorta angsty. It's Matt/MVP, because holy crap I can't get enough of those two. Snark = sex with them, for srs. I'm not totally satisfied with it, though - I still need to tweak the ending a bit, but this is the first thing I've written in years that hasn't found its home in the proverbial wastebin. So I'll probably screw around with it either tonight or tomorrow. Then I'll come whining to you guys for a beta job. *bats eyelashes and shows cleavage*

Tonight might not be so good because I'm considering going with Ashley, Amanda, and some other dorks to see the newest HP movie at midnight. Yeah. Me at midnight after two hours of Vacation Bible School is going to be fun. Okay, it's really not that bad since I'm doing snacks and whatnot, and the kids were disturbingly quiet during their meals. Part of me thinks that my blind hatred towards humans under ten years of age has skewered my view of children and makes me think the worst about them. ;-) Then again part of me thinks that I'm actually correct on this point (kids can be right dicks these days!) and so I don't feel guilty about it at all! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!

In other news, I'm kind of torn about the G.I. Joe previews. I don't know about you guys, but I'm very possessive and paranoid about my childhood entertainment. Thank goodness Transformers didn't suck, but I don't know about Joe. If it sucks I'll probably emotionally eat like 5 large pizzas and then cry myself to sleep...

Anyway, I don't have anything else to say and it's time I went to the fellowship hall and set shit up. I less than three you guys!

Apparently the universe thinks I'm a big, fat failure turtle. I woke up at 5:00 AM this morning with a migraine. Stumbled to the bathroom and took 3 Excedrin Migraine tablets and went back to sleep until about 7. It's kept the edge off most of the day but it's starting to come back full-force. Right now it feels like someone is twisting a knife in my right eye socket and dragging it from my forehead down to the roof of my mouth.

(Charming, I know.)

At least the nausea kept me from overeating, right? *wince* Just took some more meds so hopefully it'll be abated before Raw comes on. Yes, for the first time in about 13 years I now have a point to stay up late on Monday nights! :P

In spite of the aforementioned migraine my day has actually been quite lovely. Today was a little bit chilly and we had a slight drizzle of rain that was on and off all day. Add onto that fact that my cat is actually being sweet for once, I'm eating a bowl full of strawberries from the farmers' market and that I'm watching Chris Jericho and wanting to nibble his adorably chunky thighs, it's been a nice Monday. ^_^